These words are not foreign to most of our ears, though the “it” can be any number of things.
Stop daydreaming. Stop wasting time. Stop speeding. Stop the world, I want to get off. Stop being silly. Stop doing this. Stop doing that. Stop whatever the hell you are doing and listen to me. Just stop.
What I most often heard…
We are so accustomed to hearing, “Stop!” that it is no wonder that so many of us are afraid to do anything. Afraid to start anything. Afraid to try.
We get caught up in what others think we should do. We live our lives by the standards that a society imposes on us.
We forget who we are. We ignore what is truly important. We make decisions based on a false sense of security.
Then one day, we wake up and wonder why our life is in shambles. Why we are so unhappy. Why we attract the “crazies” in life. Why we overindulge in the things that aren’t good for us. Why? Why now?
And that is followed by the “If only…then…” and “I don’t understand…why” ruminations, which land us in a psychologist’s office going over the history of what brought us there in the first place.
I believe that self-reflection, self-evaluation, and self-discovery are all good things. And asking for help when at a standstill when trying to do it all by (one)self is equally as important. Trust me when I say that I sat through my share of therapy hours over the years.
But I also think that there are times when we, the damaged, can get sucked back into some familiar behavior. We jump back into similar self-badgering thought processes of the “What the f*&#?” “Not again!” and “When is the next bomb going to drop?”
It is familiar. It feels the same. But because we have worked hard to rid ourselves of the “Why me?” language, we see it is as something unique, different and new. So, we find a new counselor with a more modern therapeutic style or unique technique to bring us to a more enlightened state of awareness and being.
I think it’s nothing more than a variation on a theme.
If my theory holds any semblance of truth, perhaps we do not need more years sitting in doctors’ offices rehashing old stories while they delve into our sex lives (or lack thereof), and negotiate the non-allowable charges that the insurance companies will not pay.
Are there other options?
Could we find a professional who sees our time as valuable? Who doesn’t want us to waste more of our life with the same-ol-shit-different-day thoughts?
Someone who will give it to us straight. Wake us up. Hit us between the eyes with the metaphorical one-two-punch that has our head spinning around 180 degrees so we can see the situation from a different perspective or direction.
This MadTV skit featuring the brilliant and effortless comedic timing of Bob Newhart and Mo Collins, suggests that there could be another approach.
There are times I must simply remind myself to stop playing the same archived tapes that I take off the shelves of my mind to dust off from time-to-time. I know the script backward and forward and don’t need to waste my precious time and life energy to relearn the lines of “why me?” “what if…?” and “how come?”
And I certainly don’t need to pay for one more “shrink” as long as I have good friends, YouTube and I…
(Note from the author: I dedicate this post to all my friends and colleagues who are in the helping profession as counselors, guides, coaches, psychologists, therapists, clergy, bartenders, and any-and-all-others who cleverly disguise what they do naturally by coming up with a clever title and are in the practice of listening and giving direction. I love you all!)