It all begins a minor disagreement.
Then, one person gets so offended, they find it necessary go out on a limb to try to destroy the other.
This phenomenon is not new to any of us who went to junior high school. If you look at the history of the world, there is continual evidence of this.
These bullies relish finding people who will blindly follow them and do their dirty work for them. These “sheep” are sent out to be the annoyances.
Should there be a response or reaction from the intended receiver, the leader-aggressor will often give a surprised look, leaving the ambushed one to be the overly-reactive screaming banshee. The blame is always transferred to the vocal one.
Of course, the Bully and his or her clan will stand on the soapbox of sanctimony. They claim to have been picked on unduly, satisfied in their ability to have turned the tables on their intended, and often unsuspecting, victim.
Another set up. And yet again, someone else takes the fall.
People have not changed very much over the centuries. No matter where we are, or whatever situation it is that we may interact as human beings, there is likely to be someone who will always try to turn any situation into a battlefield, picking fights that are unnecessary.
Have you encountered this type of situation in your life? In your workplace? At school? On social media? With family or friends? Other situations?
Do you always walk away? Or do you try to defend yourself, your name, or your honor?
Walking away does not mean “ignore it and (maybe) it will go away.”
We must get to a point in our lives where we start to recognize the patterns in ourselves and in others. Perhaps, you are like me that you find it necessary to prove your innocence, because you were made the scapegoat in many aspects throughout your life? You may find yourself continually in defensive mode.
Others know that they can “bait” you into the battle with comments such as:
- “There you go, always being defensive!”
- “Why must you take it so personally?”
- “If it weren’t true, you wouldn’t react as you do!”
Sound (or feel) familiar?
- The truth is…you take it personally, because the other meant it to be personal.
- The truth is…yes, you are always on the defensive.
- The lie is…what you are fed as their truth must also be your truth, accompanied by your reaction.
Walking away means that …
- We know exactly who we are and own our choices and behavior.
- We are no longer willing to live by the baited tactics of others, who may try to control our behavior by continually setting us up to fail.
- We know the difference between competing to “be right” and behaving in a way to “do the right thing.”
- We know how to love others, in spite of their faults, but recognize that we do not have to take part in, nor have an interest in, the matter or action.
We have to learn to let go.
There comes a time when we must know within ourselves what is right or wrong. Proving someone else wrong, no matter what you may know to be absolute truth because of the evidence you have, may not always be the best way to approach the situation. Believe me, I know this one well.
Learning to let someone be (or think they are) right has been one of the best lessons I have learned. Does it still irk me? Of course, it does!
Yet, letting it go does not mean that I am wrong. It does not mean that I am responsible for being life’s teacher to all of humanity in its ignorance.
The one truth that I have learned is that…
Life truly is the battlefield…
And I am the one that is allowed to pick the battles that are worth my time.
Photo credit: Pixabay public domain