There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my mother. Today was no different, except that I talked to her today…a lot.
If you were able to ask her about me, she would tell you that I would talk to anyone who would listen. She might even tell you that she was a bit concerned that I was talking to myself, and blaming her for me talking to myself today!
Today marked five years since she has been gone.
Mom always told me to keep looking forward…“you can’t go back in time.” Sometimes, even remembering or talking about the past, she would call, “living in the past.” We never did agree on that point.
I thought a lot about Mom today, but not only because it was this anniversary. I went to visit my dear friend, who has been in the hospital since last Wednesday. I call him “my brother from another mother.”
I think that my mother would have liked him. He doesn’t talk too much, and he has the same rapier wit that she had. They both deliver those zingers like no other. They may have become rather competitive. They would both get a chuckle at who could come up with the best ones.
I asked my Mom to put a good word in for my friend, and let whatever “Big Guy Upstairs” there is to find something else for him to do here.
Soon after I had that talk with Mom, he reached for my hand on the railing, and took it to squeeze it. Though he’s very ill and not coherent, he is still showing signs of responding to voice commands. A day earlier, this was not the case.
Having dealt with this situation with him, and losing another friend, Pam, to carcinoid cancer/neuroendocrine tumors (NETs) on Saturday, I am glad that I was able to spend some quiet time while remembering Mom and feeling her presence. But yet…
Mom, I miss you so very much.