Why Me or Why Not Me? That Is the Question

question-25527_640I have had my moments in life of asking “What now?” or “Why me?” I am no different than others who have faced their share of challenges, both large and small.

But the better question is: “Why NOT me?”

Does anyone deserve more or less than others in this life? What do any one of us have that is so much more special than others of us who have been put on this earth?

I am sure that each of us have someone or a number of other people in our lives who feel that they are the privileged ones. Or deserving. Or entitled to things, situations, money or a “break.”

These are the people who, when things are going in the manner they think they deserve, are happy. But the moment that something “bad” happens to them (whatever they deem that to be for the moment), the proverbial pity party starts. And when one does not accept the invitation to the party, there is hell to pay.

Then there are those who wish their misery on another. They take the “why-me-instead-of-him” approach, as if they can or should rank themselves higher on the “good person” list.

Many have grand successes in life, whether financially, socially, or professionally, etc., and  live in all their grandeur with so much dis-ingenuousness and narcissism , which really is unnecessary. Everyone tries to impress one another.

I have seen this in too many circumstances to not be able to recognize it. And these are the people who will so often judge, ignore, and discard others because they do not fit some image they have deemed the most worthy of their time, effort or love.

So back to the “what now” and “why me” questions…

Some people will be bombarded by life and feel as if they are entitled to a break, or to successes and other “good” things, dreaming of “if only…” Others who have already been fortunate to have lived the dream, feel they are the “chosen” and “worthy,” alive in their castle of self-importance. These two types of people are really not much different. They are simply at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Then there are those who get bombarded by the same challenges of life, who act differently. They do not feel shame and guilt for what is happening. They seek out others who are genuine and understanding. They take life by the horns and keep moving forward. They do not sit (long) on any pity pot that they might certainly be allowed more time than others, if they were to choose to do so.

They keep going…moving forward…living beyond.

They do not concern themselves with what the “pretty, perfect people” think of them any longer. They stop seeing the world through the eyes of those who will discard them without blinking an eye.

And they truly have learned the answer to “Why me?”

Why me? Because I am the one who can handle it. I am the one who will do it as gracefully as life will allow me to do it. I am the one who will continue to get up and keep moving when others weep at the loss of an illusion.

Why me? Because I am the one who will open my heart up to those of you who thought you were exempt from the crap that life dishes out. I am the one who will cry with you. Laugh with you. I will be the one who will accept you for who you are in spite of yourself.

Why me? Because I can. And I will.

And what next? More life and what it has to offer.

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could..”― Louise Erdrich

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© Copyright 2014 by Coral Levang – All Rights Reserved.  (Post originally written and published on Bubblews.com on April 6, 2014, but removed from site by author)


8 thoughts on “Why Me or Why Not Me? That Is the Question

  1. I think that when I was younger, I asked, why me, but when I got older, my questions became, why not me. As we age we gain perspective and we realize that whatever obstacles have been thrown in our path, if, in the past, we have found courage to get past them, in the future, we can rely on our knowledge and experience to get us through them again. I learned a long time ago, though, to never ask, what now or what next, because questions beg for answers.

  2. Hmmm….very existential. Here’s my take….at least the best that I can do. I, being a person of faith, think that most of the things that happen in my life are a marriage of my decisions and God’s plan for my life. So, yes….somethings may just happen but some things also come in by special delivery. 🙂 Other events are a result of my decision both good and bad. In my life I never pretend to know which is which since my perspective is pretty limited compared to the Almighty’s.

    I do know this. If I work hard to remember that God loves me more than I love my little boy, and if I trust him to the best of my ability, things will work out for my good and the good of those around me. I deliberately make this choice in good and bad times. It’s not easy but I think it’s easier than trying to do things on my own. 🙂

  3. Reblogged this on BEYOND THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE and commented:

    Perhaps, it is because December is dark and dreary here for many north of the equator….or maybe, it is due to the holidays losing their magic for many. I have heard the lament, “Why me?” several times in the past few days. I felt it was time to revisit this post from June…

  4. A well observed blog Coral, and a very good question. None of us want it to be us, but it is, unfortunately, or should that be fortunately. For me, it has made me take stock, to beome more in control of my life, rather than letting life control me😉 X

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