On such a beautiful spring morning, when the skies are blue and the birds are singing, and I am preparing to go out and celebrate a birthday moment with my daughter for her Dad, I am ever-reminded of the cycle of life.
When I was 20, I thought I knew it all and did not need, what I saw as, the craziness of family. Yet, I wanted connection. I made some terrible mistakes, as we all do, in how I dealt with them.
When I was 40, I realized how I did not know it all. In fact, I did not know who I could trust in this world, starting with myself. I began another two-decade journey to begin to figure these things out. I recognized how much I wanted connection with a family that did not always make sense, but I did not know how.
Now, as I am facing 60 in a few months, I realize that time is what it takes to understand that there is nothing really new that happens in the cycle of life, or in self-awareness, or in families. We are all so similar. The challenges we face may be a bit unique to us, but humans are not perfect, nor are the families in which we are raised.
Even in the most difficult of families, there comes a time when people rally around to help through the most troublesome times. We must take care not to use or abuse them, nor do we need to fall to the victim role or feeling beholden to them. It may not always be ideal or pleasant but, in their own unique ways, family members love us in only the way they know how.
Learning to love and forgive ourselves and our families will make much more sense, as we continue on this journey of life. Some things we just have to give time.
(Author’s note: This post was prompted by another article —When Family Rallies Around Us. In it I shared a bit more of my own journey in relationship to my mother and daughter. )
© 2015 Coral Levang