Relationships of all kinds go through an evolutionary process. As some get stronger, there are many that are lost. This holds true in friendship, business, romance, and in families.
Many times they are (or have been) one-sided. They were not steeped in honesty. Some may be extremely toxic. Others may be influenced by viciousness and lies. Regardless, it hurts to lose those for which we have cared.
I must admit that I tend to be a bit idealistic. I actually believe people when they tell me:
- They value the relationship between us.
- They will be there through thick and thin.
- They love me.
- Things will stand the test of time.
I also understand that situations can change, and it is difficult to say things that need to be said.
But it is easier for some people to simply walk away as if others never existed. That has never been easy for me.
I have not always made the best choices in dealing with the more difficult situations with people. I understand that it can be very tough to know what to do or say when you do not want to hurt someone, but know that your decision will do so. I, too, have walked away awkwardly, leaving others to wonder what the hell just happened.
But I think that the thing that makes it hardest to bear is when a relationship ends without any explanation or an opportunity for discussion. It devalues us all when there is no validation that the friendship means something, or has ever meant anything. Without a conversation where there is a heart-felt truthful dialogue, it feels as if someone has slammed a door in my face. These are the things that rip at the very heart of me. Even as an adult, the pain of rejection and abandonment from youth can linger and then grab hold when least expected.
And it feels dishonest on so many levels. It would be so much better if we could all be forthright and open, coming to shared understanding of any situation. But that seems to fall into my bucket of unrealistic expectations.
Yet, how I wish it were so.
© 2015, Coral Levang
Photo credit: Pixabay/Public domain. http://pixabay.com/en/heart-dirty-dirt-structure-ground-401499/