Two Years Ago Revisited


It has been more than two months since I have kept up on this blog.  Suffice it to say that I have been busy.  I know that is no excuse, but it is the best I have.

I have been living.

LIVING LIFE. 

A cancer diagnosis will do that to you.  At least, it has for me.

I suppose that I should be more diligent about writing here on this blog, as I am about all the other ways I am living life–my other blog, work, being a contestant in a pageant, and so many other ways.

I must figure out a way to check in here more often. So today I will start by sharing what I wrote earlier this morning and posted at my other site.

I haven’t always told my story here with the same voice as I do elsewhere.  Perhaps, I fear being found out when I feel the most vulnerable.

Today, I began to fill in the details of what started my fiasco two years ago.  I suppose that even in my telling of the story, the layers are so thick, that I am only now starting to peel them away.  I never expected to be able to tell it all.

As many of you know, I did not expect to live this long…

 

(Original post on 4/13/2014 as Two Years: It was a Friday, Part 1)

Today marks the day two years ago that I was forced to take a look at life (and symptoms) seriously. I did not often go to doctors, and had some signs that passed months before, but this morning I became more concerned. I was downright scared. Even so, I put off going to the hospital.

I was to leave on Monday for Wichita, Kansas to facilitate a workshop for the week. I was in my preparation mode with packing, cleaning out the refrigerator, and the general running-around-like-a-chicken-with-its-head-cut-off mode I go into before a road trip.

In the wee hours of Friday morning, I woke up with excruciating abdominal pain on my left side. I was doubled-over and it was intolerable. I remembered that same pain from two other episodes–about a year earlier, as well as four months.

This time it was grossly different. Projectile vomiting made me take notice of the pain that I had let pass on two other occasions the previous year.

Yet, I did not call emergency. Quite honestly, I just wanted to fall asleep and get better. I was more concerned about having to be on a plane on Monday morning for work.

I thought about all the things it might be and how I would get through it:

–My favorite coconut chicken curry soup I had eaten for dinner several hours earlier. Could it have been bad? Did I have food poisoning? It will pass.
–The flu. It, too, will pass. Beside that, I have worked through tougher things.

I laid back down about 4 o’clock in the morning, hoping that this would pass quickly. I still had to finish laundry and pack my bags this weekend. I wanted to be more relaxed and get it done with time to spare. But all I could think of that moment was for the pain and nausea to end. I really did not have time for this.

I stayed in bed most of that day. I kept some water and saltine crackers down, but by the time evening came I was still in pain and feeling horrible.

It was the first moment that I considered calling my boss to alert her to have someone else on standby for the workshop. I figured that I would give it another day to see if it would pass.

As I crawled back into bed that night, the last thought I remember going through my head was “Ugh. Today was Friday the 13th.”

***To be continued***

 

***To gain other perspectives about the journey and how it affects one’s thoughts at different stages, please check out more from this author***
How Long to Live? One Year, Two If You Are Lucky”
“Suicide: The Night I Took My Life…

For a variety of topics written by this author, take a stroll with her…

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Two Years Ago Revisited

  1. Peter

    Coral, its Peter Nicotera from Nj. You may remember me replying to an earlier post. Im a professional guitarist like your dad ( if that helps at all!) I just want to thank you so much for sharing this story. It really hit home as l realized I have a very similar attitude toward my well being as you did. Every sentence I read reminded me more and more of myself.. I rarely, if ever seek medical treatment for any symptom I may be feeling..and am rarely ill on top of that!! I think it may behoove me to get my behind in gear and get a check up..please keep on adding installments… you are always an inspiration and I do believe, in spite of my natural tendency to avoid health issues, that I will take the subject in a much more serious way now! I’m sure that you will have a very positive effect on all of us reading your post.. thank you again Coral… This has really put a “fire” under me. How is your dad doing? As I mentioned previously, he was a strong influence on me ..as well as many other players I’m sure.. ever since I was a boy. Hope you are feeling well and thank you SO much for sharing your very personal story. My Best, Peter

    Sent from my LG Smartphone on Sprint

    1. Thank you, Peter, for your message of support. We must be willing to take care of ourselves, instead of everyone else. I do hop, as well, that you will read the other links I’ve shared. You might also enjoy perusing through this blog, as well. I’ve written things that may resonate with you. With your permission, I will write you though your email to address some of your more specific questions. Thanks again for stopping in to read and comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s