Here it is, we are already into November. Can you believe it?
Here in western Washington, my lights have been flickering all morning with the wind storm that is picking up speed.
My experiences this week have felt similarly. It seems that the energy that has been blowing all around me in many aspects of life has been picking up some speed.
Part of my week has not been fun. I have encountered situations and people that were, at best, maneuverable.
I wrote about one particular situation and person in a diary entry this morning– “Dear Diary: This week was not so fun!”
Another situation that was difficult for me was making a decision in my professional life, which never seems to be easy for me. It would have been a new training opportunity with the same company. That is always exciting to me, as I love to learn and tackle new subjects. But my doing so would have presented some other challenges for me.
One of the things I usually love about my job is the diversity of the class participants. Taking on these new workshops would have severely limited the demographic of all the workshops I facilitate to mostly younger people with little experience. I actually enjoy the classes of retirees, although this past week’s class may be an exception if I think too hard on it! 🙂
Because of that, and the unknown of medical test results due in January, I made the decision to decline on this opportunity for now, keeping the door open for future.
Every time I make a decision like this, I tend to question myself, which creates a self-directed anxiety that I do not need. I wonder if I made the right decisions. Then I tend to ruminate.
And ruminate, I did, especially in light of the challenge I faced with “Mr. Sunshine,” the participant in the class who I described in my diary entry. My mind even jumped right into doubt in my abilities and desires.
But as I reflect on the week, even though it was difficult and painful at times, I am becoming more clear in what I want and need from a job and the people I work with. This extends to those with whom I choose to be in relationship.
Yesterday, I also had the honor to be in on a group call with Fabeku Fatumise. Each time I am on a call, or get into dialogue with this man on any level, I have those “two-by-four-moments.” You know the ones that hit you right between the eyes with something you need to learn (again)?
The subject: Coherence. There were so many great lessons and reminders to come from the call, but the one that resonated with me after this week’s events was this (and I paraphrase):
Coherence is not about (fluff)…it is having an identity that is plugged into an understanding of one’s bigness…it is also about finding balance in the relationships one has so that you can go about building, feeding and nurturing those relationships with people who support (me) in that bigness and coherence…it’s pretty simple, but it’s not easy…requires devotion to the practice…
Coherence is also knowing exactly who you are, without apologies.
When I heard Fabeku ask the same question I challenge my participants with, I knew that the week came full circle:
WHO ARE YOU?
Continue to ask yourself that question. Dig deeply. Answer it. Ask it again.
And though what we may in life may not always be fun, and can leave us feeling a bit unsure in the chaos, there is fun in the discovery. We simply need to open ourselves up to all the possibilities.
Copyright © 2013 Coral Levang.