You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change, rather than allowing it to master you. ~Brian Tracy
When we commit to “telling our stories,” not all of the details are pleasant. So, I might find myself holding back from the telling, because of a belief that sounds something like this:
“If I share the unpleasant things that happen or have happened in life, then I am ‘being a downer,’ ‘concentrating on the negatives,’ or worst yet…’living in the past.'”
These tapes that seem to run through my head on auto-play are NOT my words, but they are the words of others who have been uncomfortable with disclosure, reflection and honesty.
But on some level, I have taken that bait…hook, line and sinker. I have allowed others to decide for me how to best live my life.
When I act upon this belief, it can prevent me from saying things that I need to say. It limits my growth. It quiets my voice. It imprisons my genuineness. But ultimately, it was my decision to act.
I am responsible for my decisions.
And I will act responsibly when I share what needs to be said.
* * * * * * * *
Recently I was told, “You have quite the story to tell!”
I usually cringe and think, “Oh, you have NO idea!”
Today, I owned it. Totally. Owned. It.
“Thank you. Yes, I do.”
I know that in telling my story, I can be genuine and purposeful in sharing my life’s lessons, events and experience in a way that honors my particular, unique journey. I am mature enough not to wallow in the muck and mire of “woe-is-me.”
I share my stories with a distinct purpose of building connection with others, who often fear that if others knew what the struggles REALLY were, they would abandoned or rejected. After all, that is also my fear. I “get” it.
But I’m a risk taker.
Perhaps, there is also a
small part of me that likes the shock value of it all.
On one hand, I will put it all out there to get it out on the table early, just in case someone does leave. Then I haven’t invested too much time.
On the flip side, I’m learning that when I do share genuinely, others see me as this courageous, inspiring soul who will “tell it like it is,” and who is fearless. And they “connect” with me, willing to share their stories with me.
Little do they know that I struggle with the same garbage that they do.
So, what makes any of us different from the other?
There isn’t really much difference at all.
We all have incredible difficulties in life to deal with. Each of us has been “dumped” on from time-to-time. And we all have our extremely challenging situations.
The difference is that some people spend an inordinate amount of time feeling defeated, whining at every twist and turn, until the only option is to give up.
Others take on the challenges and learn to live with the bumps and bruises along the way.
Our battles are different, but the war is the same. The war is called, “Life.” And the key to thriving in life…
Yes, I do have quite the story to tell. But I want to hear yours, too.