Drama-Free Living


When I want more drama in my life, I’ll start auditioning again.  ~~ Coral Levang

Those of us who love people and helping others are often caught up in the “drama” that surrounds them.  We want to help, so we listen and give advice.   Then, we are puzzled when we are listening to the same people cry about the same situations week-after-week, month-after-month, and year-after-year.

I am learning to concentrate on my own life  and letting others have complete responsibility for their own lives, behaviors and outcome.  It’s not always easy to do, because I’ve spent a lifetime playing a certain role in others’ lives.  Sometimes, I’m cast in the drama; at other times I play the understudy and jump into the role, when needed. 

When we pay attention more to others and their dramatic situations, it becomes a way for us to distract ourselves from looking at our own issues.  

I don’t think this is uncommon.  But when we concentrate on trying to “fix” others, we avert the focus on the thing over which we DO have control–our own behavior. 

Though it can feel like we are abandoning others by letting them deal with their own issues, we do others a disservice when we get so involved that we do too much.  But we are often blamed for the outcome, or find ourselves embroiled in a situation where we have no business.  And we do ourselves the bigger disservice by ignoring our own needs for change and growth.

Be compassionate.  Listen when others need to talk.  Help by encouraging others to make good decisions based on their own values, needs and desires.  Let them make those decisions for themselves.

Then do the same for yourself and your life.  Drama-free.

 

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2 thoughts on “Drama-Free Living

  1. You’ve really hit the nail on the head here. My clients often come to me for an impossible ‘fix’ for their problems. Sometimes the best way to help someone is to say no. Backing off like that is a tough lesson to learn. Thanks for the validation I found in your words.

    1. Thank you, Gayle. The “fix” is often times impossible because it’s not about the fix but about the lesson or journey. Learning the boundary lesson is definitely a tough one for so many….myself included.

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