Here it is 3:00 in the morning, and I cannot sleep. These are the times when my mind goes a mile-a-minute. They are also the times when I don’t generally take the time to write things down…things that I think are important.
It was a year and a half ago that I declared my mission in life to be “to inspire others to see beyond the challenges faced in life.” A lot has happened in this year and a half. Some I’ve shared, some I’ve kept close to my heart.
I keep a lot to myself, despite what some others in my life might think about my not being afraid to speak my mind. I, often times, don’t say what I’m feeling for fear of others finding displeasure in what I have to say. Or that they will reject and abandon me and our friendship. At nearly 55-years-of-age, I still struggle with concern about what others “think.”
This is a big challenge for me. Being consistent in my blogging here and writing at the other sites is difficult for me when I fall into that emotional trap.
I started writing online in order to find my “voice” and to be able to share my thoughts, feelings, dreams and aspirations without fear. There have been many good things that have come from doing so. Yet, I find myself holding back again…and I’m not sure why.
Whether this challenge, or the others faced in life, I know that I’m not alone in feeling these fears. I know I am in good company. I also am quite aware that others are supportive, when I am willing to share.
Facing the fear of what others think becomes easier when I’m willing to open up to others. That is a choice I get to make. And of course, it comes with the risk of having others reject me.
But it also allows opportunity to have others look to me and say, “I understand. I’m facing the same thing.” It allows for fellowship, if for only a moment. New connections can be made. Lessons can be learned. Reminders can be heard.
The next step in allowing my voice to be heard started tonight by making this blog searchable on the Net. I’m opening myself and my voice to others on a broader level. I’m putting myself out there more to live my purpose.
The unknown can be scary. Facing the unknown…is the choice. And it is my choice.